I am here NOW~

"Well Done is better then well said"~ Benjamin Franklin

Right now I am feeling pretty good after getting about 7 hours of sleep last night after dealing with 2 nights of no sleep at all. What a difference it has made in my disposition today. While that level of no sleep is not a frequent visitor to me, I do have periods where no matter what I do I may only average 3-4 hours. it is during that time I work at being kind to myself, not making major decisions as I know something is on my mind & while at that moment I may not know what it is, it'll come to consciousness soon. I also in that kindness have learn not to have junk food in the house or even grocery shop as I know I will make emotional food purchases as I am tired.

But today I am dining at home from a place called Laughing Planet Cafe, a local restuarant told to me by the woman who helps me in the garden. LPC has a website www.laughingplanet.com with other locations in Oregon. Being that I am here, right now, I am giving the food a try, even having a smoothie called Blue Suede shoes filled with blueberries,honeydew,bananas, cantaloupe, apple juice.

Check out their website! I love their support of buying locally, leaving the smallest enviroment footsteps, and having bold tasty food that is affordable (my what a concept) & no affected snobbery to boot!

Yesterday was a day when I planned to grocery shop, but I did not go. Fortunately I had more then enough healthy food that could last a few days so I would not make poor decisions for the panty. I did however stop at KFC and bought a chicken dinner and I do not mean the baked chicken. I did pick the more healthier sides corn & coleslaw. I knew I was frazzled & badly needed sleep. What's important to me is I was conscious and if I selected I ate it enjoyed it and now will not do it again.

My intentions are not to do things in extremes. I am not a food purist or one who is releasing weight and having an affected snobbery toward ones who may satisfy a craving or have no interest (right now) into becoming a vegan or whatever. We all know we did not get this way overnight nor will it go a'weigh overnight. Punishing ourselves or others forming needless alliances, having comptetions for me neither helps or work.

I am not a comptetive person.

Not that I am not a person who is afraid of a challenge or not being the best. We have the attributes in varying forms in all of us, but perhaps for me it may be emotional laziness as I just do not see the point. I did then and still now believe that a contributory portion of our physical challenge with weight has very little to do with physical food but what is eating us. And we aready have a lot on our figurative plates that it makes no sense to add things needlessly.

And it does not have to be the things that are the fodder of many a talk show or self help groups though it could be. I do see from a big picture standpoint that we could far more easily release weight the we can in releasing what may be eating at our heart & soul bu that people do have, with some having to dig harder then others, have what it tkaes to figure out what works for them.

Hence the reasons why some people after reaching their goals can slip back regaining or being so overwhelmed with how others treat them post weigh lost or their identity going away with it. So now I am doing things bite size or even micro bites as I need it and I retrain or introduce new habits. One of the things I do is give myself something when I reach a milestone physically, enotionally, professionally or what have you. It could be something super small or something (for me) huge.

One gift I have that is an ongoing creation my own secret garden in my very tiny courtyard.

Yesterday & hopefully finishing today I am having someone plant lavender, pansies,rhonderderons, irises, begonias & peonies . Majority of the garden is all white flowers with splashes of deep purple and red as a even smaller accent (for pops of color) sprinkled all around. And now I undersvand she is bring a herbologist/botanist so we can identify some of the plants that are growing in my garden not needing my permission to do so.

I've been asked with some puzzlement in their voices as to why I was doing this since I was planning to move back to New Orleans in a 2-3 months. My logic is: I am here NOW.

Gardening, even just the mere act of watering gets me outside, the fragrances soothes my heart (and my blood pressure) I get needed Vitamin D from the sun and it just looks gosh darn pretty. I've now taken to leaving my draperies open to this fenced in courtyard so when I do arise early which is normal for me the 1st thing I see is the garden.

I feel like my creative juices are flowing again more then they have had in the last year especially living in a place where I have met very few people and have no outside activity(too long a story-or perhaps save it for another time).

One of the things I am doing to do is creating my own stepping stones with my art and maybe a phrase of one of my poems on them. Whoever get this place after I leave this tiny studio hopefully will get some delight from the gift I am leaving them from being here NOW.

So now a new cafe, new flowers, good smells, vitamin D & a herbologist. Pretty good for today, eh? What more can a person asked for today sans a round trip ticket & a check for New Orleans today?

How cool is that?