People's weight challenges may not always about a person not liking themselves. I saw a commercial yesterday for bariatric surgery that struck me oddly. They showed a woman who was overweight but not obese (which was an improvement) dancing lovingly with her husband while the voice over talked about her getting this surgery. It shows her doing all the conscious thing about seeing a competent doctor, looking at the information talking to her husband And I am so like "Sez what"? What blew me away was she was not morbidly obese!
Definitely overweight but not morbidly obese.
The implication in my eyes was that no longer is the surgery for those who are morbidly obese, but someone who is borderline obese (?) or overweight as a dieting tool. I was so taken aback I wanted to rip the commentator out of the tv screen and give them a shaking. This has very subtle implications.
To quote another woman "The woman says that she is having bariatric surgery so that she can kiss her husband under the Eiffel Tower. I always wonder if France has banned everyone who is not thin. There is also a commercial for Jenny Craig and Valerie Bertenelli says that this is the first year she can wake up and not worry about her weight and I keep wanting to tell her that she could have been doing that all along".
This is not, I repeat not any form of criticism for anyone who is contemplating having the surgery or have had it. Nor am I against Jenny Craig Ms. Bartenelli or what means individuals making conscious careful thought what works for them. I happen to believe there is more then one way to get healthy & people will make choices for themselves in how to process it. The conversation was about commercials. My thoughts were the implication in the commercial.
Even when discussing this as a form of weight loss the producers shows a woman who is on the far smaller side of obesity. It is loaded with hidden messages.If people can be reminded that there is no quick fix and we are so heavily influenced by marketing. First they have to create a need and it is important to coerce you into believing you are not good enough. Human nature being what it is and especially for women we are never going to measure up under a system who has created a hostile environment to be all the things that women should be proud of. Then the next step is to have you believe their product is the end all be all to cure what ails you and if you spend enough money you will be acceptable. But it will never be enough as if you reach that goal despite it all, the bar has to be raised to keep you buying.
According to marketing you will never be enough all on your own. Make no mistake I am not against a healthy weight or striving to be the best you for you. I just question a system that needs to coerce you into perceiving yourself as inadequate and then taking a very natural desire for acceptance and inclusion to manipulate you to try everything crazy thing under the sun to be like by people you don't know, may never meet and might not like if you ever do! Being proactive approach and having a realistic view of oneself and health, weight and well being is crucial as we have all discussed.
Yes I know I have the remaining weight to release and some of my by-product challenges of this weight that are fixable and within reach, but I would be doggone if I am going to wait until someone else decides that I cannot enjoy living until that happens.We are way over the top with programming that is not only anti woman, but anti fat women but some of that we as a gender have to take accountability for. I love that quote of Sister Dr. Maya Angelou on whining "Quit whining because it lets a brute know that a victim is in the room".About the word whining, but people have taken that word to make it a generic one size fits all word. It has taken a life all of its on.
Whining is incessant complaining. Or excessive complaining. That's all.
I do not see a problem when a person has complaint. Complaints have their rightful honorable place! But nowadays if you have cause for complaint, people look at you as being weak. That somehow that faux pull yourself up by the bootstrap mentality is the ONLY honorable way to go! What they are really saying is I don't care, I do not want to be bothered. Instead of saying that the word whining is used to save face instead of how they really feel as it doesn't appear "nice". Or perhaps (Oy Vey) they think they may have to get involved though they have not been asked to.
But what it comes down to is if you speak up for yourself or cite discrepancies as we are discussing here then you are looked upon as a whiner and Oh no, we cannot have that! People want women to be quiet, be compliant, to just "look good and shut up".Obesity would not be at epidemic proportions if all was right in the world! Things are being stuffed down that needs to be brought to the surface and scrape off and disposed! And it does not have to be something as horrific as sexual abuse, violence or trauma that can make that happen.
My weight gain came about the last 2-3 years because of anger. I (and I am only saying this to acknowledge my part is this script) allowed myself to be used that worked me to death, disrespected and minimize my work and treated me like I was a joke behind my back. And I went along with it...I did not want to believe it was happening so I chose to turn a blind eye to it initially trying to find justification in what I was doing as noble. The work I was doing was indeed noble. I was proud of it then and proud of it now. But the people around me diminished my worth & my work, considering me by deed as a joke.But I was not going to let the see me sweat.
Oh no! I was going to be polished, poised and professional to the end though it was killing me inside. Around the end of 2006 as I was literally walking like someone 90 years old, I had a small epiphany that something was wrong, terribly wrong. I had not realized how much weight I was putting on. But the end was not yet to be. I was not yet ready to look myself in the mirror and be culpable for my part.
Before it was over with by the end of 2007 I was weighing in at a whopping 320 pounds! I was showing all my anger, screaming loud and clear how hurt, angry, dismayed, disappointed and grieving I was inside that I would not let myself really look at. I am not there now here at the end of 2008 in more weighs then one. I am still working toward a goal for me, but the difference from this time last year to now has been a ride.
One of the things I did was to go back and find pictures over the last 20 years and make not of what had been ging on in my life, the people I associated with (or not) and found patterns. And not all of them were bad and even the ones thatt were were not as bad as they could have been. It took a lot of work and time and having to "go there" again and again and again in snippets, bits'n pieces as to not be overwhelmed to be overly grieved. The purpose and intent was to find some answers, to be culpable where necessary and for releasing.
Along the weigh I had laughter mixed in the tears, a few jaw dropping moments & lots of relief!I expected better and I also now expect it to get better (now)
It took, as I called it my personal sabbatical , all of 2008 for me to peel back all the layers as I dance in anger having to process & say out loud to myself all I was angry about. I had to stop lying to me and lying to protect others who did not have my back and those who could care less.The more I stripped, the more I can to the clear understanding of my culpability in this:I had given away "all my stuff" to quote a line from Shange's play "For Colored Girls who committed Suicide when the Rainbow is Enuf"
Acceptance is normal and natural and very human. People using it to manipulate and coerce others to profit is not humane. I am not taking ownership for other people's action, but simply for my part in complying.So almost full circle back to Dr. Angelou's quote, I've learned that I need too be selective in whom I do talk to about certain things. It is difficult and dicey to be vulnerable because you will not know some of the time who is the parasite or the leech that will suck you dry. Sometime it will indeed be someone you are friends with, sometimes a family member, an acquaintance or a total stranger looking to make a buck. And it may not always be about financial profit, there are always a way that someone can benefit from you appearing not having self acceptance.
And even if a person's intention was not to hurt you and that is a very real possibility, sometimes they do unknowingly.
But now today a year later while I refuse to walk around being paranoid or suspicious of everything & everybody, but I will simply being better tuned into when to stop something before it stops me.But I did not get it in a cellular weigh back in 2007 and by 2008, I landed in the cardiac unit for a week in April because I let something get out of control subsequently causing me so much stress that I was hospitalized. I did not have a heart attack. As a silver lining I had the best, albeit it very expensive, physical including a MRI & a heart Cat to discover I had a beautiful mind and a large, healthy heart.The doctors told me then if I did not do something however to get the stress under control one day I may not be as fortunate.
While laying in that unit It had dawned on me that this was the 3rd trip in 15 years just like this because of high stress from outside sources and because I did not pay attention landed me in the hospital! Those 3 visits the cost would have been a sizeable down payment on a house, paid a car in full, allowed me to travel unencumbered to South Africa or Europe, been more then enough to create a viable business or wipe out all my debt.
Ah , the "gift" that kept on giving.
Possessing that awareness now gives me a different bent.So I can had to get very real and see what I was doing to participate in the madness.
But back then I was close but not there yet. That last cardiac unit had abut 30 beds and 75% of those beds were occupied with women! I was told by one of the nurses that last year they had one of their own nurses came in to work in the middle of a heart attack!
This is an end reult as how much the society of women are conditioned to take care of everybody else and disregard what is happening to them.How many times have we poo-poohed when we don't feel well or if we do lay down it is implied that we are lazy even if its only the thoughts in our own head?I don't know about you, but I have heard too many times and often from other women said in a disparaging voice, about "selfishness" if a women acts in a way to care for herself for a moment.
need a whole new time and way of thinking & acting which I believe we are fashioning, transforming now.
How cool is that?
Definitely overweight but not morbidly obese.
The implication in my eyes was that no longer is the surgery for those who are morbidly obese, but someone who is borderline obese (?) or overweight as a dieting tool. I was so taken aback I wanted to rip the commentator out of the tv screen and give them a shaking. This has very subtle implications.
To quote another woman "The woman says that she is having bariatric surgery so that she can kiss her husband under the Eiffel Tower. I always wonder if France has banned everyone who is not thin. There is also a commercial for Jenny Craig and Valerie Bertenelli says that this is the first year she can wake up and not worry about her weight and I keep wanting to tell her that she could have been doing that all along".
This is not, I repeat not any form of criticism for anyone who is contemplating having the surgery or have had it. Nor am I against Jenny Craig Ms. Bartenelli or what means individuals making conscious careful thought what works for them. I happen to believe there is more then one way to get healthy & people will make choices for themselves in how to process it. The conversation was about commercials. My thoughts were the implication in the commercial.
Even when discussing this as a form of weight loss the producers shows a woman who is on the far smaller side of obesity. It is loaded with hidden messages.If people can be reminded that there is no quick fix and we are so heavily influenced by marketing. First they have to create a need and it is important to coerce you into believing you are not good enough. Human nature being what it is and especially for women we are never going to measure up under a system who has created a hostile environment to be all the things that women should be proud of. Then the next step is to have you believe their product is the end all be all to cure what ails you and if you spend enough money you will be acceptable. But it will never be enough as if you reach that goal despite it all, the bar has to be raised to keep you buying.
According to marketing you will never be enough all on your own. Make no mistake I am not against a healthy weight or striving to be the best you for you. I just question a system that needs to coerce you into perceiving yourself as inadequate and then taking a very natural desire for acceptance and inclusion to manipulate you to try everything crazy thing under the sun to be like by people you don't know, may never meet and might not like if you ever do! Being proactive approach and having a realistic view of oneself and health, weight and well being is crucial as we have all discussed.
Yes I know I have the remaining weight to release and some of my by-product challenges of this weight that are fixable and within reach, but I would be doggone if I am going to wait until someone else decides that I cannot enjoy living until that happens.We are way over the top with programming that is not only anti woman, but anti fat women but some of that we as a gender have to take accountability for. I love that quote of Sister Dr. Maya Angelou on whining "Quit whining because it lets a brute know that a victim is in the room".About the word whining, but people have taken that word to make it a generic one size fits all word. It has taken a life all of its on.
Whining is incessant complaining. Or excessive complaining. That's all.
I do not see a problem when a person has complaint. Complaints have their rightful honorable place! But nowadays if you have cause for complaint, people look at you as being weak. That somehow that faux pull yourself up by the bootstrap mentality is the ONLY honorable way to go! What they are really saying is I don't care, I do not want to be bothered. Instead of saying that the word whining is used to save face instead of how they really feel as it doesn't appear "nice". Or perhaps (Oy Vey) they think they may have to get involved though they have not been asked to.
But what it comes down to is if you speak up for yourself or cite discrepancies as we are discussing here then you are looked upon as a whiner and Oh no, we cannot have that! People want women to be quiet, be compliant, to just "look good and shut up".Obesity would not be at epidemic proportions if all was right in the world! Things are being stuffed down that needs to be brought to the surface and scrape off and disposed! And it does not have to be something as horrific as sexual abuse, violence or trauma that can make that happen.
My weight gain came about the last 2-3 years because of anger. I (and I am only saying this to acknowledge my part is this script) allowed myself to be used that worked me to death, disrespected and minimize my work and treated me like I was a joke behind my back. And I went along with it...I did not want to believe it was happening so I chose to turn a blind eye to it initially trying to find justification in what I was doing as noble. The work I was doing was indeed noble. I was proud of it then and proud of it now. But the people around me diminished my worth & my work, considering me by deed as a joke.But I was not going to let the see me sweat.
Oh no! I was going to be polished, poised and professional to the end though it was killing me inside. Around the end of 2006 as I was literally walking like someone 90 years old, I had a small epiphany that something was wrong, terribly wrong. I had not realized how much weight I was putting on. But the end was not yet to be. I was not yet ready to look myself in the mirror and be culpable for my part.
Before it was over with by the end of 2007 I was weighing in at a whopping 320 pounds! I was showing all my anger, screaming loud and clear how hurt, angry, dismayed, disappointed and grieving I was inside that I would not let myself really look at. I am not there now here at the end of 2008 in more weighs then one. I am still working toward a goal for me, but the difference from this time last year to now has been a ride.
One of the things I did was to go back and find pictures over the last 20 years and make not of what had been ging on in my life, the people I associated with (or not) and found patterns. And not all of them were bad and even the ones thatt were were not as bad as they could have been. It took a lot of work and time and having to "go there" again and again and again in snippets, bits'n pieces as to not be overwhelmed to be overly grieved. The purpose and intent was to find some answers, to be culpable where necessary and for releasing.
Along the weigh I had laughter mixed in the tears, a few jaw dropping moments & lots of relief!I expected better and I also now expect it to get better (now)
It took, as I called it my personal sabbatical , all of 2008 for me to peel back all the layers as I dance in anger having to process & say out loud to myself all I was angry about. I had to stop lying to me and lying to protect others who did not have my back and those who could care less.The more I stripped, the more I can to the clear understanding of my culpability in this:I had given away "all my stuff" to quote a line from Shange's play "For Colored Girls who committed Suicide when the Rainbow is Enuf"
Acceptance is normal and natural and very human. People using it to manipulate and coerce others to profit is not humane. I am not taking ownership for other people's action, but simply for my part in complying.So almost full circle back to Dr. Angelou's quote, I've learned that I need too be selective in whom I do talk to about certain things. It is difficult and dicey to be vulnerable because you will not know some of the time who is the parasite or the leech that will suck you dry. Sometime it will indeed be someone you are friends with, sometimes a family member, an acquaintance or a total stranger looking to make a buck. And it may not always be about financial profit, there are always a way that someone can benefit from you appearing not having self acceptance.
And even if a person's intention was not to hurt you and that is a very real possibility, sometimes they do unknowingly.
But now today a year later while I refuse to walk around being paranoid or suspicious of everything & everybody, but I will simply being better tuned into when to stop something before it stops me.But I did not get it in a cellular weigh back in 2007 and by 2008, I landed in the cardiac unit for a week in April because I let something get out of control subsequently causing me so much stress that I was hospitalized. I did not have a heart attack. As a silver lining I had the best, albeit it very expensive, physical including a MRI & a heart Cat to discover I had a beautiful mind and a large, healthy heart.The doctors told me then if I did not do something however to get the stress under control one day I may not be as fortunate.
While laying in that unit It had dawned on me that this was the 3rd trip in 15 years just like this because of high stress from outside sources and because I did not pay attention landed me in the hospital! Those 3 visits the cost would have been a sizeable down payment on a house, paid a car in full, allowed me to travel unencumbered to South Africa or Europe, been more then enough to create a viable business or wipe out all my debt.
Ah , the "gift" that kept on giving.
Possessing that awareness now gives me a different bent.So I can had to get very real and see what I was doing to participate in the madness.
But back then I was close but not there yet. That last cardiac unit had abut 30 beds and 75% of those beds were occupied with women! I was told by one of the nurses that last year they had one of their own nurses came in to work in the middle of a heart attack!
This is an end reult as how much the society of women are conditioned to take care of everybody else and disregard what is happening to them.How many times have we poo-poohed when we don't feel well or if we do lay down it is implied that we are lazy even if its only the thoughts in our own head?I don't know about you, but I have heard too many times and often from other women said in a disparaging voice, about "selfishness" if a women acts in a way to care for herself for a moment.
need a whole new time and way of thinking & acting which I believe we are fashioning, transforming now.
How cool is that?
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