Shared,Received & Inspired~enJOY this Day today...

Gorden Bay Dock, South Africa©09~Ria Grobler, artist

A ship in a harbor is safe - but that is not what ships are for."~ John A. Shedd

A delight I had received this day was from a person previously unknown to me who wrote to me. Not only were his words inspiring & touching to me, but it reminded me that on any day, just like toDAY someone CAN (it could be you, raise & lift another person up from the simplest gesture. One thing he said that I can share as he is finding his weigh to grow was

"being grateful and recognizing who and what I am grateful for
-
forgiving everyone and everything
- DOing that which brings me JOY - which
happens to be writing, drawing and music
- choosing to BE the happiness, not
striving to get there someday

I now make better choices when I eat. Better decisions when I interact
with others. And the weight is coming off so easily. The cravings are nothing
what they used to be. The things that would trigger my appetite in the past do
not affect me now".

And I say ashe'.

Some days and any of us can get caught up in it, we really do not focus energy on the joy giving for too much time and energy into things that weigh us down. I am no different. It can indeed become an ugly habit one that can be done away with but can take time. One thing this young man had said of thinking always of himself as a spiritual person reading the books, attending lectures,seminars etc, but then realized he had not been committed to anything.

I say however it should be more then even being committed, but being dedicated which really sounds like what he, I and perhaps the whole Sparks community is doing...

At one point one of the founding fathers of the U.S. wrote these words:

"We hold these truths to be
SELF-evident that all men are created equal that they are endowed by their
Creator with certain unalienable rights...life, liberty and the pursuit of
happiness".

As well intentioned as and beautifully written the ideals were (we all know all men were not equal & women were left out), he made a very valid point; we do have to be SELF evident and it IS endowed by our Creator as inalienable. So I say I do not want to PURSUE happiness I will take a line from the aforementioned lurker, I want to BE happy.

So do I want to commit to that end? Or dedicate to that purpose?

Commit: to put in charge; to trust;to carry into action deliberately

Dedicate: to set apart to a definite use;to commit to a goal or way of life.

A synonym is devote: to give over or direct (as time, money, or effort) to a cause, enterprise, or activity

Commit or dedicate both powerful one shows having an action, the other making it life long/a way of life.

Just a moment ago as I was writing this, a beautiful silver grey Himalayan cat strolled into my lil courtyard sniffing around. He was magnificent & I had to stop for a moment to watch him in his grace and beauty stroll and sniff in my garden. Perhaps a connoisseur of fragrances? Or simply looking for food? Who knows but it brought a smile to my face with simply the thought.

Now back to my thoughts here...

So for me will I commit to having a healthier life well being which will be the act? Or will I dedicate in making this as well as enJOYing this day be a life long action? I want the long term as I cannot see it as a temporary fix. I want to enJOY the rest of my days health filled with a wealth of joy and wise so I will abe able top apply all I learn from this day of joy.

Ok, So when did this Happen?

Asphalt Acorn~Diana Prescott,photographer


So when did it happen for you when when your refrigerator became healthier?

It struck home for me last week doing something as innocent as opening the refrigerator and noticing that mine is full of blueberries, raspberries, omega-3 eggs 2% milk, salmon, veggies etc.

It then dawned on me that unconscious and more now consciously that the more I've read & learned the more I have put into practice. It was a slow but steady metamorphosis. Other changes came about gradually sometimes almost imperceptibly but progressive. I am not saying its been perfect but definitely not as hard as I would have thought. But I've been priming myself for sometime.

I just read this great quote by Robert Frost: "Something we were withholding made us weak, until we found it was ourselves".

Whether it works for someone else I cannot say, but I know what has been working for me and that has been working on the "innies" as much as the "outties". I still agree with that commercial slogan "Its not what you are eating, but what's eating YOU". So as a nod to Frost & a commercial paying attention to the whole enchilada is important. We can and very successfully drop numbers but if we don't pay attention to it all one can as been attested to by many can easily put it back on even easier then taking it off.

I recalled resisting salads (still not a fan) but enjoy them more now. I so enjoy all the fresh fruit, the taste of organic Omega 3 eggs, still do not care for oatmeal, but able to tolerate it. And for a person who did not ever, ever thought I would see myself eating white chicken breast or turkey breast, prepared well I actually like it. Even to the point that I am rarely purchasing dark meat.

Hmmm.

I still enjoy an occasional KFC or a bowl of ice cream. I do get on occasions popsicles but still will a couple of times a month have "real" ice cream, speaking of which Hagan Daas has come out with a wonderful one called Five. Very healthy and very tasty.

It hasn't been a major struggle just trying different things and it is true using herbs & spices and my all time fave, garlic, has done wonders. I am now introducing ground flaxseed in my food. Proudly now enjoying 7-8 hours of sleep & most days drinking 7-8 glasses of water.

I wish I can walk more however until I have needed surgery it is a slow progress having to avoid some things but finding other creative means to get some movement.

So it is not impossible.

I have done some other things that have been wonderful almost liberating. Breaking goals into very small pieces over and extended period of time works. I also have discovered that some of the holding back can be in the words we use applying to ourselves when we have a setback, using words like "defeat" "bad" "failure" "devastated" for something which is minor when you look at it setting up ourselves to throw in the towel (or perhaps the apron).

One of Sparks' Healthy Reflections I read last night was timely:

Who is standing in your way?

http://www.sparkspeople.com/


Imagine someone regularly tying small weights around your ankles as you try to climb a mountain. Doesn't sound fair, does it? But that's exactly what you can do to yourself, a little bit at a time, if you don't watch out. When you think of who and what is standing in the way of your dreams, it's easy to forget your own responsibility. Even the best of us can be guilty of unknowingly hurting our own progress.

Procrastination, lateness, being disorganized, pessimism, not being honest with yourself, severe self-criticism, downplaying achievements, focusing only on weaknesses while ignoring strengths, keeping goals a secret, demanding perfection, giving up after a small setback--these are all ways you can make it tough to be (and do) your best.

Smart systems, the right attitude, and a promise to keep going no matter what will make a world of difference".

And discovering I have a healthy refrigerator is proof possible of just that! And even moreso having a healthier work in progress attitude and disposition aids me immensely!

How Cool is that?

Icon & Family~ One can be Both & More..

Music Maker~ Art of Charles Bibbs

Last night as I was watching a memorial performance to honor the artistry of Michael Jackson a tearful , heartfelt comments by his sister Janet Jackson, her poignant words rang true. In essence she said "thank you for all your kindness. Many see my brother as an icon. We see him as family".

Icon & family one can indeed be both. Much has to do from the vantage point of an individual & their relationship with another.One can indeed be many things to different people and still be an alright person as no relationship is equally balance with everyone involved with a person.

When one is challenge with their health, finances, familial relationships or flowing in and out of circle of life if we have a challenge with one does not mean that it is the same way with all. Or if one person can (and cheers to them that do) release 100, 200 or 50 pounds means that another will do it at the same rate, same pace or at all. Our bodies as our minds are highly unique and individualized. How it responds even if several are using the same program does not mean said program will work the same for all.

Unless I am living in a dream world, it should not be a competition as there has to be a winner, one having something "over" the other. Whatever pace one chooses for themselves they became a winner from the moment the decision was made to do something. All the rest becomes the lagniappe (something extra).

Insights can come in many forms and one can use it a all or some or none at all to tailor it to their own needs. I have learned much from many people. I even have learn much from ones who seem bent on causing grief. As one woman I recalled saying she thank the ones who gave her grief as it taught her what not to do. So all can contribute something it just how one wants to view it.

In my own purpose in doing this is a personal one. As open as I am in disclosure, there are some things that remains in the secret garden for my eyes only. At times people have right and wrongly pass judgement on how they may see what I say and do of course with the requisite how I should do it their way or not at all. Undertones that are potent, laden with disapproval, envy, disappointment, expectations of my (or even you) living up or perchance living down to a decision not of my making.

We all know what we need to do, undo or not do at all and in our time we will get to it as we can be many things to many people, but most of all to ourselves...

Icon and family...One can be both or not at all. It comes from how the beholder or the reader wants to see it or use it.

Wigs, Butterflies and other Crazy things that can Happen on a Sun Sun Monday (for a Free Woman)

Erykah Badu, singer

Wigs, Butterflies and other Crazy things that can Happen on a Sun Sun Monday (for a Free Woman)

©09

Can I Parler sans fards? ( to speak openly)?

I know some will wonder by the title, what any of this has to do with weight loss. Well it does and I must say that our bodies and our mind & emotions are clearly interlinked & there is no need to call in a rocket scientist to solidify that!

I should first explain what a Sun Sun Monday is. It came about last year with a sweet at that time 6 year old and I who had a conversation while waiting for his parents a lazy Sunday afternoon in the car. I wanted to keep him entertained as he was getting a little antsy and I asked him what his favorite day of the week. He liked Sundays, did not like Monday and was quite articulate in why.

So I said to him since you gave me all the virtues of Sunday and why you do not like Monday, we can move Monday aside and designate our new day as Sunday~Sunday so we can extend the enjoyment of Sunday for one more day. And it kind of stuck. Another artist shortened it to Sun –Sun & a new day is born!

So now Sun-Sun is a day designated as to how you want to use it and you do not need anyone’s permission as to how you will use it. Since you are a free woman or a free man. It is not bounded by space, time, or schedules, but by your own energy to do with it as you see fit. And it does not have to be the calendar Monday; it is the day as you see fit to be fit.

We can become so caught up in pounds, fat, calories, failure (?) success that when we achieve what some may see as unachievable we when we get to the Promise Land then it becomes: so now what? And sometimes when one achieve and then not too sure what to do now can slip back into old habits for not working on making a golden life while in the process. I am no different then any of the other very smart, capable women and men here or elsewhere as they find their way and make their mark.

This is simply an account of my everything that started on Sunday and heated up on Monday.

It has been no big secret of my interest & desire to return to my hometown. Ask and ye shall receive. Speak truth and truth will be found. Sometimes in the oddest places, times and people. I've learned as things unwrap physically in the weight release process, so can other facets can come unwrapped, in some cases unglued revealing all that simply is.

For me timing had not been right, health and wealth had not been right. And then it dawned on me when is it ever going to be right? Yes there are tose days when all systems are cookin' but most of the time, you get what you get until what you got doesn't work any longer...

A place I had been looking at rather casually and had actually veto in New Orleans ended up being revisited this week with renewed interest. After trying to find it on Google Earth unsuccessfully, I enlisted the aid of someone else and thankfully they found it!

Upon my searching out the neighborhood an adjacent street caught my attention. It sounded vaguely familiar but I did not know from where. And then it struck me, my parents, still in love and a young couple my mom then age 33 and daddy age 40 & I was a wee, newly born itty bitty one, fresh and wide eyed with out a clue as to what the world was going to throw at me lived on this adjacent street!

So I went on a search after confirming it on my birth certificate & found the place which literally was 3 blocks over from the house I am getting. My 94 year old mother confirmed the house which is now boarded up after Hurricane Katrina.

My 1st thoughts were "hmm so I am really returning to my roots". And then my 2nd was while discovering this part of my past, something clicked in my head from a article I read upon arising today in a wonderful article on "the Power & the Vision" of how some people, many times spend their whole lives: "it's interesting that most work makes us look downward, while dreams lift our eyes to the sky. While you're keeping that nose to the grindstone, make sure you keep your head up to see where you're going".

I've always known I was going somewhere even if the "where" may not always be clear & apparent to me and even less to others. As the artist, said to me today" I believe some people are being positioned in many aspect for some things big to happen. And if you are in the right place at the right time and ready, you will be there to reap large benefits".

Of course those benefits may be different things to different people. But what is clear if you are not there you will reap absolutely no thing but the same old thing. And the same old thing can get really old, you can start to tolerate what's intolerable, suffer in silence, get smaller, shrinking down and expectations narrow and then you are stuck miserable, bored and not filled. Not even knowing why or worse how you got there...

And even worse, how to get yourself out of it. So while looking into my little garden courtyard, I saw my 1st butterfly of the season. It was beautiful sort of a yellowed lime or a limed yellow color almost translucent. I found myself smiling and wow I get to see some before I leave. And then I stepped out into the garden and though it was high noon fed my plants, watering the ground, being soothe by the act though my thoughts were grumbling over some of the plants still not in the ground and other bulbs I will not get in the ground when it hit me, a missing link of my "Bringing it on Home" project I want to implement once I get there.

It was part of a proposal that was not accepted a year and a half ago when I thought I was going elsewhere. But here was a golden opportunity to bring this vision into fruition! And what a better place then New Orleans with its transformation in action now to do this! If that butterfly had not graced my garden on a Sun Sun Monday I might not have stepped outside to water and subsequently gotten the idea.

Of course I am not attributing anything mystical to this. My mind was relaxed, clear and comforted which allowed my creative juices to flow and with it the vision came & the idea resurfaced with a plan.

So now what do wigs have to do with all of this? Whenever I am ready for a change, I get the urge to cut my hair. Some women will identify with this. I've worn a curly blond fro for almost a decade and now I am bored, not knowing what I wanted to do as I am not prolific with hair. I knew I wanted to change the color, wasn't sure what style when I decided to look up wigs which can evoke a different mood experimenting with different looks without a permanent investment. So I found three. One is reminiscent of a period of Erykah Badu's many looks or a 1970's earlier Pam Grier style.

Yet another of an earlier Phyllis Yvonne Stickney, an actress and comedian I admire. Sharp clean and distinctive and one of a style I enjoyed on Gabrielle Union. Understand, I am not a 59 year old woman looking to be 16 who is aspiring to look 25 (years old). I am not going to lose me, but a fresher transformed me is where I want to be.

I know for sure that many things work in concert when a person is ready. While the emphasis is and will remain in shedding the physical weight for health many other things work in symphony with that. How exciting is it all!

So among a lot of smaller but weird things that occurred today, these were the thing that swung my day's rhythms. I never got to my "to do list" for a Sun Sun Monday, but that's ok because what needed to be done was indeed done. And embracing all that indeed can be golden...How cool is that?

Moon (being a free woman)

All rights reservedJHM6-23-09©09

What it looks like...

"To be nobody but yourself--in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else-- means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting". ~E.E Cummings

This remark by Cummings, a poet, made wonder why on earth would one have to fight to be themselves or living a fruitful productive life?

Of course then I realize that there is always always, always someone who seem to want for you not to be acceptable of oneself or accepting what is an inalienable right to have a joyously, juicy, delicious golden life. When ones may have embarked on doing things like can make a life, their life shimmer as encased in gold.

Whether it is something as simple as learning to ride a bike at 65, going back to college at 50, even hang gliding (though its not something I want to do) or be like the Scottish woman who all she wanted to do was to fufill a promise to her mother after years of loving care was to sing, someone had to put her up to put her down.

then when she did not win the top spot, but most certainly did not lose tabloid had her in rehab, in a mental health hospital a Boyle gone wild scenario. Yet she was like most of us an average person with an amazing voice who simply wanted to use it in a larger way.

And it is well earned for her you & me to follow your heart desire.

Anthony Robbins said once about dreaming so big that people will laugh at you. If they are not, you are not dreaming big enough. It don't matter if it not come to fruition, but wouldn't just imagining it can make your life golden? What will success look like to you now or when you reach the goal weight you want? Are your preparing for that eventuality or is it somewhat half cocked, a vague idea of what life will be like. And what if life does not end up being what you envision?

Some who have reached that goal in a successful weight lost first of all brava to 'em. But how many say as some who've been on shows like the Biggest Loser or perhaps someone you've personally known could not handle the "new" you.

Adjusting your vision tweaking it as you are going through the process is smart & healthy. Even if you have a regression which is also normal having an idea of your vision plan, a guide or outline will aid you greatly in saying on track or a map to guide you back if you were distracted.

A successful plan can engage you into seeing yourself doing something you've only talked about whether it is something as simple as learning to ride a bike at 65, going back to college at 50, even hang gliding (though its not something I want to do) or be like the Scottish woman who set out to accomplish all she wanted to do & that was to fufill a promise to her mother & herself. After years of loving care she opened her mouth & the world fell in love with her heart's desire, to sing, reached a mega number audience in the process. What she had only dreamt about, she created a vision plan, acted on it & won.

Not the contest which was really secondary, but she won...

She won even as some put her up to put her down. Even the ones who did not want her to change. It was interesting both camps seemed to focus on the same thing; her weight "dumpiness" lack of sophistication, "unattractiveness". Some clamor for an improvement, others wanting none.

But she knew what she wanted, went after it and got it!

Although she did not win the top spot, tabloidstrashed her had her in rehab, in a mental health hospital a Boyle gone wild scenario. Yet she was like most of us, an average person with an amazing voice who simply wanted to use it in a larger way. And dared to dream big so much that others took noticed.

And it is well earned for her, you & me. While that might not be our aspiration, your bigness could be something more modest.

You go after it, after all, to see what success can look like.

And the more you shed and the more the you under is revealed, you will also reveal things internally from the heart & soul. Can you adjust, tweak and accept? Revamping the goals, discarding what is no longer viable or useful or maybe even restoring somethings as still having merit you previously discarded.

A vision is a very good thing one with a plan is an excellent one. One put into action is supreme. A vision keeps you excited, keeps it juicy, keeps you from bumping around in the

dark.

It will make you know success when you see it .

How cool is that?
Moon

No bye-bye, Birdie!

I really appreciated reading this woman follow up posting after her visit to Good Morning America last week with a successful 120lbs weight loss. I would highly recommend one reading all her info at www.sparkspeople.com Her candor and refreshing honesty of dealing with the realities of life is exciting as well as her humilty. More then her ability for the weight release, but that she acknowledges her humanity and is pragmatic about what she could and could not do.

I especially like her remarks about needing a support system that motivation iin tiself is nov enough, a factor we really need to heed. Iv would save us a lot of grief and misdirecved blame.
JHM

By Birdie:
6/1/09

I wanted to thank everyone for all of the kind and positive comments. I am now certain that I made a good decision to come forward with my weight loss success.

Unfortunately,I am back in the middle of my busy life right now. I'm working full time, trying to work out, and attempting to spend quality time with my husband and all of my children. I am going to read through each and every one of my comments and emails, but it will likely take me some time. The kids are all asleep now. I've worked a full day and I got in 40 minutes of cardio. I'm still tired from going to New York, but it was a successful day.

Once again, thank you. Thank you! Thank you!

I did want to touch on the topic of motivation. SparkPeople really does have all of the tools you need to lose and maintain weight loss. What I mean by tools is that you can find out how many calories you need to eat per day and how to balance your nutrition. SparkPeople does have great emotional support as well, but sometimes that's not enough. I believe that I had an advantage in that I had/have a great support system. I have delegated many, many things in my life. For example, I do not do my own laundry. I do very little housecleaning as well.

Obviously due to my work schedule, I have to arrange for childcare for my children. The list goes on. What does this have to do with motivation?

Well... stress needs to be minimized in order to get to a place where you can even think about a selfish goal such as weight loss.

Selfish? Well, it is in a way.

But, it's a good selfish because it pays back to everyone that you took from. So, for example, the time that I spent working out and being selfish means that I can now outlast my kids when spending a day at an amusement park.

I've got to share a story.

A few years ago, my husband and I took our kids to Sea World here in Orlando. We probably made it about two hours before we got in the car and headed home. Our oldest kids were devastated. They didn't understand why we were leaving so soon.

We left because I was hot, sweaty, out of breath, and my thighs were rubbing together so hard that it hurt. I couldn't do it anymore.

Sad but true. I'm sure others can relate. I was the mom that ruined all of the fun because I got too tired. Back to motivation.

The point is that you need support before you can even think about motivation.

So, ask for help. Delegate responsibility. Ask your husband if he will watch the kids while you work out. Hire a high school kid to help you clean the house or do the laundry. Get creative.

Finding the time doesn't have to involve money.

Ask friends for advice. Perhaps they can see some opportunities to simplify your life that can't see.

Sometimes someone looking from the outside in can get a clearer view of the picture. You have to clear the path. Make some room for your lifestyle change. I do want to be a source of motivation.

But, I am still learning how to maintain my weight.

I still read almost all of my SparkMail. If not that day, I will read it at another time. I still read the entries in the dailySpark. I still read every SparkPeople Success Story that I can find. I will never stop seeking inspiration.

Laughter as emotional aerobics

Corny one liners, but true:

The Economy Is So Bad...


CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.


McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

A truckload of Americans got caught sneaking into Mexico.

The most highly-paid job is now jury duty.

People in Africa are donating money to Americans.

Motel Six won't leave the light on.

The Mafia is laying off judges.

No More Drama...

Please do not think you are exempt if you are not African American...Get to stepping, moving, remove what is humanely possible any and all that causes you grief.

Have a svress free diet. Iv can be done in different degrees of modificaion. Create the vision plan that works for you hat is healthy safe A& productive...Believe it or not music you enjoy can do it, laughter, sharing, dancing, plants in your home, prayer, meditation, writing are some ways.

Stress May Raise Diabetes Risk for Obese Black Women


Surge in anxiety-linked hormone worsens blood sugar level, researchers suggest

THURSDAY, March 5 (HealthDay News) -- Stress may play a key role in the development of type 2 diabetes in obese black women, U.S. researchers say.


"Much attention has been given to the role of obesity in the development of type 2 diabetes, but stress may be as important in this at-risk population," study co-author Anastasia Georgiades, of Duke University in Durham, N.C., said in a news release.


The study included 62 healthy, non-diabetic black women who were asked to recall stressful life events. As they did, the researchers measured the women's levels of blood sugar and epinephrine, the "fight or flight" hormone that's released in reaction to stress.


Women with high epinephrine levels (25 picograms or more per milliliter of blood) while recalling stressful events and with more belly fat (33 percent or more of total body fat) had significantly higher fasting glucose scores (about 100 milligrams per deciliter) than women with lower epinephrine levels and less belly fat (85 mg/dl). A fasting blood glucose level of 100 mg/dl is considered within the low range of pre-diabetes, and a level of 125 mg/dl is the benchmark for type 2 diabetes.


Women with high epinephrine levels and more belly fat also had bigger increases in blood sugar levels during the stress test.


The findings were to be presented this week at the annual scientific meeting of the American Psychosomatic Society.


"While we don't fully understand the nature of the association, women with abdominal obesity may be more vulnerable to the impact of stress -- causing their body to increase blood sugar production and elevating their risk for diabetes," Georgiades said.


Further research is needed to determine exactly how epinephrine production affects blood sugar levels in black women. Nearly one in four black women in the United States has type 2 diabetes, according to the American Diabetes Association.

information
The U.S. National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases has more about type 2 diabetes.
Content bySOURCE: American Psychosomatic Society, news release, March 4, 2009

Spaghetti with Turkey Meat Sauce

Spaghetti with Turkey Meat Sauce
Serves: 6


Using nonstick cooking spray, ground turkey, and no added salt helps to make this classic dish heart-healthy.


INGREDIENTS

1 lb. ground turkey

1 can (28 oz.) tomatoes, cut up

1 cup green pepper, finely chopped

1 cup onion, finely chopped

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 teaspoon dried oregano, crushed

1 teaspoon black pepper

1 lb. whole wheat spaghetti, uncooked


DIRECTIONS

1. Spray a large skillet with nonstick spray coating. Preheat over high heat.

2. Add turkey; cook, stirring occasionally, for 5 minutes. Drain fat and discard.

3. Stir in tomatoes with their juice, green pepper, onion, garlic, oregano, and black pepper. Bring to a boil; reduce heat. Simmer covered for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. Remove cover; simmer for 15 minutes more. (If you like a thinner sauce, give your sauce a whirl in a blender or food processor.)

4. Meanwhile, cook spaghetti in unsalted water. Drain well. 5. Serve sauce over spaghetti.


NUTRITION INFO (per 8 ounces of sauce & 2.5 ounces of noodles serving)

Calories: 331.5

Fat: 6.3 g

Carbohydrates: 47.4 g

Protein: 21.7 g

Feed your Mind-Coping

Although this segment that appeared on Good Morning America aired on 5/5/09 and had to do with coping with the recession, the guest Anthony Robbins made some very valid points that can be used in a lot of arenas.

I especially like his remark :" Feed Your Mind otherwise it will be fed elsewhere", the elsewhere could be a lot of junk that is totally useless and unusable for you.

His other point about "getting out of yourself" as being in service, no matter how bad it is for you at the moment.

Mr. Robbins said other things to but I will let him speak for his ownself.

Enjoy!

http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=7506072

Be Nice! Saying it so much...

A sharp tongue can cut your own throat. ~Author Unknown

Words matter so much and just like the previous article of May 17th blog, I do believe how we speak to ourselves can have profound, lasting effects on our psyche & how we function joyfully.

While it is incumbent for us to pay less attention to the language others use to us if it is not upbuilding, encouraging or truth filled, we need to pay attention, close attention to how we speak to ourselves & that includes how we think about ourselves. While we cannot go around beating folks up or editing every word they say to us, we can be proactive about our usage of words we direct toward ourselves & about ourselves.

It seems to be some of the time far easier to be proactive when others use what my mom use to call "nice-nasty" when I was a child, sugar coated words aimed to cut to the quick, while allowing the speaker to abdicate responsibility or feign ignorance at what their intentions were. We feel when those words are hurled though we may not at at first take know what is happening. Nice nasty words are quite effective and allows people to behave as snipers, wrecking damage & harm and fleeing incognito.

Somehow, eventually realize when its been done by others as it makes us uncomfortable & may find ourselves drawing away from the sniper We do not have to listen & it is easier in some cases to manage how much time we want to spend with ones who want to reduce us or themselves. But what if you're the one doing it to yourself?

What I am attempting to address here is more about people who may set goals that are so unrealistic that they are doomed to fail because they really do not want to succeed. Again, if you reference back to the article of May 17th, and read what the columnist say about the types of words we use in setting weight loss goals.I do believe that sometimes people get more out of martyrdom or in the power of victimization in a host of ways.

Make no mistake I am not saying they set out to do this, but as someone told me about the hormonal rush. I do not see it as a hard & fast rule, nor am I looking to beat up on anyone. I think people being beaten up occurs far too much as it in with people struggling with their weight either by themselves or by others. And it is so defeating an unworkable, so looking for a new paradigm is needed. Looking back in retrospect, I could see some of the times long ago, when I use "nice" words that were in essence self defeating. Wasn't intentional, but nonetheless it was there.

Women are particularly prone to this as we are so conditioned (don't matter the culture or land) to be "nice". I find that word in itself not a bad word, but I think used out of context when really the right one would be passive or fearful. I've been guilty of it too many times in the past and had to come to a painful reality it was what in part fueled & sustain my weight gain & maintenance.

It made me realize though how far I've come just recently when I made a simple request to someone that a no would have suffice,. Instead she agreed to do it and then came back with a "nice-nasty" remark talking to me in a very patronizing way with that sing-songy voice women use when talking to a 4 year old.

I picked up on that and addressed it full on and she justified and did acknowledge she was annoyed of my making the request not knowing I did not have access to the request. Her justification came with "well that is my background upbringing of being nice when I did not want to do it". As I told her I did understand the word no and knew what it meant & it would have been ok. She apologized though it would have been far easier to have not been so "nice" from the beginning.

What was really a small clump of dirt became more of a molehill. But for me it serves as an epiphany. sadly I lost a little respect for her while I wondered how many other times she was being "nice" insincerely, to me. My epiphany was how many times had I done that myself? Being "nice" when it should have been an emphatic , resounding NO! But I did it anyway got angry, swallowed the anger again & again until physically speaking I did not recognize myself any longer. For me that lack of recognition came about 3 years ago...

But though to some it may seem contradictory I am not mad at her. She did me a favor. Nor for that fact, mad at myself any longer. I had in the process before being more aware lost some of my self respect in bits & pieces,the anger, sadness & longing which I believe fueled my weight gain. It was "the pecking to death" as Dr. Maya Angelou states, the small pieces of me in the passivity & fear masquerading in the the words we use in a collective ,"niceness" .

One of the advantages (very few where I geographically am) is that I have spent a lot of time alone in my own private retreat is having that primal scream while sanding down so to speak the stripping away work previously done & now polishing to a high luster my "inny's". Before I could take care of the "outies", I had to do a lot of work. Slow, tedious, sometimes painful, other times humorous, other times with great surprise to get to where I am today. And while he work continues it is no longer as painful, tedious or as hard as it had been. I am I hope the last dance, the last hurrah, the last leg.

(Ok now someone stop me with the metaphors)... And the things I thought I would dread knowing about was not as bad as I initially thought it would be. Yeah it hurts, but far more manageable then I would have said in the beginning of all of this. And here have been some folks who were moved out of third row center to the balcony, some to the mezzanine, others into the lobby and quite a few more out of the theater. However it was harder in some ways to watch my own wording to myself!

I can easily tell you I was not one for using harsh, over the top words directed toward myself. But the "niceness" kept getting in the way of my progress. I was not (then) seeing what was passing as "nice" was really a very passive/fearful way of dealing with some issues (and people) that need to be taken to task & for me it was not wanting what I thought was the ultimate pain. So I was "nice" because I understood. I understood all too well & in some of this I shoulder what was not mine to shoulder.

Another favorite quote for me by Dr. Angelou is "Quite complaining. Whining lets a bully know that a victim is in the room". She is right. I didn't like it, but she was right. I wanted people to be "nice" but they were "nice-nasty". It was easier ,way to easy, to not stand up & even if my biggest fear came true I would be ok.

And guess what? I am ok! In fact far more then ok...

It is still not as hard but not easy allowing myself definitive justifiable anger flying around in the dust of the sanding as old habits die hard but who said it would be hard or easy? I told a friend (one of the few remaining ones) that I feel depleted, internally empty, but not in a woe is me way. More like I am spent from emptying out all the stuff that's weighed me down.

Now I am cleaning out the dust from the sanding and onto polishing to a high gloss finish.

How cool is that?

All right reservedJHM 5-18-09©

Banana nana bo nana… fee fi fo manna-Bananas

After reading this, you'll never look at a banana in the same way again.

A professor at CCNY for a physiological psych class told his class about bananas. He said the expression 'going bananas' is from the effects of bananas on the brain. Read on

Bananas contain three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber. A banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy.

Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes.

But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.

Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.

Temperature control: Many other cultures see bananas as a 'cooling' fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand , for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan. Smoking &Tobacco Use: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.

Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.

Strokes: According to research in The New England Jo urnal of Medicine, eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!

PMS: Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.

Anemia : High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.

Blood Pressure: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.

Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school ( England ) were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.

Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.

Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and chips. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.

Constipation: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.

Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey.. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.
Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.

Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.

Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.

Ulcers: The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.

Temperature control: Many other cultures see bananas as a 'cooling' fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand , for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.

Smoking &Tobacco Use: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.

Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.

Strokes: According to research in The New England Jo urnal of Medicine, eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!

Warts: Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape! So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around.

So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, 'A banana a day keeps the doctor away!'