Ya Ya!

I am loving this written by Paula a fellow Sparker! Please note all words are hers and hers alone but I think you will appreciate the flavor & the passion of which she speaks...

Paula words 8-10-09

Being Fat is the Best thing that ever Happened to Me!

OK I need to make a DISCLAIMER to any of you reading this: I AM NOT SAYING ALL SLENDER PEOPLE ARE MEAN AND INSENSITIVE, nor am I saying that they are all “beeyotches”

But this is aimed at those that cannot imagine ever “allowing themselves to go” or who think the world will end if they were ever scarred in some way.

It’s also aimed at anyone who has ever felt that they should be ashamed of their weight…of felt like the world has no interest in you if you aren’t physically perfect!

OK here we go….

Can I just say I had a revelation this weekend? For most of my adult life I was a slender, fit “pageant girl” the kind many other women looked at with envy.I took my appearance for granted and looked down at those who were less than attractive as “undisciplined, lazy, or at the very least unfortunate” I never realized how cruel and narrow minded me and my fellow skinny friends could be. I will affectionately refer to them and other “never-been-fat, don’t-understand-how-you-let-that-happen-to-you” people in the blog as the beeyotches!(for you older ladies, I know it sounds crass but- it seriously IS used as a term of affection in many cases)

LOL.

This weekend I was at the gym –bloated up with my period and trying to hide under one of my husbands 3xl “moo-moo-on-me-shirts”! I was standing beside the stretch mats and this very friendly woman who probably weighs about 40 or 50 pounds less than me was asking 2 skinny beeyotches (again it IS said with affection!) about their families etc…just being NICE. She was wearing one of those 2 piece workout outfits that have the tight legging style pants and a long line top that looks like a tank but with a built in bra. Yeah she wasn’t the most slender thing on 2 feet but you could tell she had been working hard and was feeling good about herself lumps an all!

After she walked away, the 2 skinny beeyotches started laughing with each other AT her(Ok THAT time it was NOT said affectionately I admit!) One said “someone ought to tell her that spandex is a privilege NOT a right” the other laughed and said “yeah you’d think her mirror would let her know that outfit is NOT her friend”.

I thought to myself “NEITHER ARE EITHER ONE OF YOU!” I sat there stunned at their callousness to someone who had been really sweet to them- and a few things went through my head first was SHAME that “I” had once been a skinny beeyotch just like them!(AGAIN definitely NOT affectionately!)

The second was anger that they could be so mean towards an obviously nice woman who took the time to show them some interest and attention. I also realized I felt a sort of camaraderie with said woman. I realized that by wearing clothing designed by “Omar the tent maker” I was feeding into that mentality the 2 skinny girls had! I was, in a way, condoning the idea that larger women should cover up and be ashamed of their curves…and that basically wearing spandex skivvies for “clothing”(and I use that term VERY loosely) is perfectly fine for young slender girls who should be allowed to flaunt what they have…or actually in this case- what they DON’T have…like cellulite, pooches, bags, rolls and other sundry and assorted lumps.

While I am not saying that being overweight is a good thing- I AM saying that there are too many unrealistically “THIN” role models thrown at all women today….and not enough real healthy ones. So anyone who feels less than perfect should cower beneath expansive clothing to hide their faults….and women, as a whole have bought into this and shamefully tuck under “fat clothes” hoping the rest of the world won’t notice the extra 5, 10 or even 100 pounds we’re trying to hide!

(Admit it..even if you ARE fit, thin and look FABULOUS!- you STILL have a pair of “skinny jeans” that you would never wear when you feel bloated…I had’em…even when I only weighed 117 pounds and was a model myself!)

Today’s women basically live in a self built prison of shame that is exemplified in the clothing we wear…and even more so in the clothing others EXPECT us to wear! The more I thought about it…the more steamed I got that I have basically made myself a prisoner of these narrow and unfair fashion dictates and the underlying prejudices that formed them. I looked at that woman in her tight Spandex and suddenly I admired her chutzpah!

Suddenly the “woman with the pot belly over in the elliptical became a “MOM” whose body had done the amazing feat of childbirth! In fact all the non-perfect people in the gym became amazing people who had accomplished wondrous things- that combined with time had taken a toll on their physical appearance.

A 70 something- year old woman coming out of the sauna met my eyes and gave me a BEAMING smile…and her laugh lines were beautiful! And here I was ashamed and trying to hide under a mountain of clothes!

Never let it be said that I have ever been shy…in fact I have been compared to May West and Bette Midler so many times I lost count. Those are two women who just don’t (pardon this) Give a flying F@(K what ANYONE has ever thought about them! Not only do I admire them- but the entire world did too because THEY loved who and what they were/are and didn’t allow the world to tell them who and what they should be. They were trendsetters and as a result- LEGENDARY!

Now, I am certainly NOT a legend, nor would I even consider myself a trendsetter- But I DO consider myself an independent, intelligent woman. And, even though I need to lose a considerable amount of weight- I am still attractive! I am also EVERY BIT as brash and flamboyant as MAY or BETTE which means I’m pretty much plain spoken.

What I wanted to say to those two unthinking and cruel girls was…ummm…”Less than polite” (LOL) But What I REALLY wanted was to thumb my nose(and all my other oversized body parts ) at those 2 beeyotches!(this time it actually IS an analogy of comparing them to female dogs- I hope the dogs forgive me for wronging them like that!) I thought about it…I wasn’t wearing spandex…but I did have on a sport bra and a somewhat fitted tank under that mongo teeshirt with workout pants…and I WOULD be much more comfortable in less layers...

So, took a deep breath (which lifted my GI-NOR-MOUS boobies to an impressive stature-I must say!) I stood up and lifted my Moo Moo over my head. I stood there , defiantly for a momant ignoring the wave of shame rolling over me at having all my rolls, bumps and pooches on display in my tank and workout pants (not spandex or skin tight- but bad enough!)

As I stood there with the “shame of being less than perfect” and the “Take THAT you skinny Beeyotches!” attitude fighting for supremacy…SOMETHING AMAZING HAPPENED….a man walked by and WHISTLED! (Ok here is where you picture an interlude break for the Hallelujah Chorus while the sun breaks through the storm clouds and shines directly on MOI!!) lalalala…LALALALALA LAAAAAH!! I felt like singing!

I gave that man a huge smile then proceeded to waddle/prance my way over to the NICE woman in the spandex! I introduced myself not giving a HOOT if my butt looked MONGO…or that my waist was rolling over my pants. Heck I wasn’t even concerned with any spillage that may or not be happening up top on the sides (though that fat-back is something I have to work on-LOL) As we spoke, she confirmed my assessment she was a truly NICE person!

THAT may not sound like much of a revelation to you but if you consider this, “I used to BE those skinny beeyotches” with all their prejudices, lack of compassion and nonexistent insight…my revelation was that being FAT may have been the best thing that has ever happened to me! Because I got FAT- I learned a lesson about understanding that there is more to looks than weight.

I’ve been a skinny beeyotch myself(and still have NUMEROUS friends that qualify as such)…and now I’m a heifer!(My skinny beeyotch friends still love me!)(again that WAS affectionately) I’m MUCH more comfortable in my own skin now than I ever was then! Granted- I need to be healthy and thus I will lose the weight- but I will NEVER have that “ cruel narrow minded mentality” towards those with imperfections again! And ya know what else??? I have a new friend! One who knows that things I have been through, who understands my insecurities and embarrassment and best of all -One won’t talk about me behind my back. We’re meeting to walk tomorrow!

Oh and in regards to the skinny beeyotches both in this blog and elsewhere who wouldn’t want to be seen with an overweight “friend”…Honey- y’all won’t be young forever and one day you’ll understand that your “LOOKS” should be the weakest link in the chain of your “ATTRIBUTES” anyway.

THEN you can be lucky enough to be friends with those of us that don’t CARE if spandex is a right or a privilege…we wear WHAT we want when we want. FAT is only skin deep…MEAN is to the BONE…actually so is UGLY(inside OR out!)…and us heifers can ALWAYS diet!

LMAO!