Gonnas be'GONE!

What I am writing about is not unusual for most of us when we make changes in our lives wanting to do things differently, see things differently and act accordingly.  It is part of a very flawed humanity, where people often in a need to level a playing field if they feel threatened or insecure, to diminish someone else worth when they see change. We do not have to look far to see that happening.

You do not have to be famous, wealthy, beautiful, highly skilled, educated or intelligent or skinny for it to happen. Just shift a hair and see what happens...

I just for once, was curious as I've entered my 6th decade, to understand without wasting too much time or energy, into comprehend why people, especially when it comes to engaging into a healthier, fuller life, why it seems to make others uncomfortable.

In the last several months, I have released over 60 pounds doing it realistically, holistically & carefully.

I still in order to reach my goal, have another 30-50lbs to glow; but it shall be done.  I am now looking to incoporate light weights, take a dance class and other things over the next several months...


  I am not doing it to catch a man, that I was ashamed of myself before or that I want to be out of plus size clothes.  And I thought that my doing this was about me, for me.

It is...

I am not running a race.  I am not trying to compare myself to anyone else nor trying to prove anything to anyone.  I thought I was a pretty cool mama before I began...Competition has never been my forte', I dislike it intensely.

But since the appreciable weight is being noticed also come the what I call the "gonnas" who are always gonna do something but never do & then they have to find fault with you because I did, not going to.  I had to get to a place in myself to accomplish this and I will be doggone if I will let the gonnas stop me.

 I more then proud of myself that I've held my ground...

I've learned that the sun was going to rise as it did so beautifully yesterday & the rain will fall as it did today nourishing my organic garden, no matter what the gonnas said or did.

And I am not going to be any less then the sum of who I am no matter what the goonas, gonna do.

Someone commented to me today that some jealousy could be involved; that some took my ability to speak well, my (as he put it) formidable strength, that if some one comes to me "they better have their A game ready" that the sum of who I am might scare some.

And you know what? They better (have their A game ready).

I am more then pleased with myself that after a very long time and struggle, I've gotten to the point where I came to know no matter what you do, even if you laid down and whine (or not) be passive or not having a learned helplessness wringing you hands to and fro in essence saying "Please like me,please like, I am not threat to you". it will be of no avail.

Cause the gonnas are gonna get you no matter what. It is never about you.

I bring this up because as we all reach hard toward our goals, there will be one or two (or more) gonnas. Live long enough and a gonna could come & get ya. People do not like their world disrupted or patterns shifted. When you release what has weighed you down it WILL cause a paradigm shift in others apart from yourself.

And if one doesn't like it rather using the awesome energy to change themselves, will use extraordinary means & lengths to put you right back where they want you to be, whether it is healthy for you or not.

Or whether YOU want it or not. 


So what did I do?  I wrote this poem:



Anyway
 By iiammoon©11

They are gonna laugh anyway...

So I might as well go out and play…

With all the life & vigor I can display

For...

They are going to laugh anyway...

Roll their eyes…

Smirk...

Wave their hands to & fro

So... I might as well sing loudly…

That song no matter how off key

Because that song  is  for me...

'Cause...

They gonna laugh  anyway...

Since I can't seem "to act my age"

I might as well jump in, Jimmy Choo's  & all...

in a puddle as muddy & messy as it wants to be…

It will wash off once I finish...

After I had a ball.

Because they are gonna laugh anyway...

All Rights Reserved JHM ©1-30-11

Never saw it coming this Weigh..This Gift

We got a little respite from the cold all week through the weekend so I am taking advantage of it.  Right now I am clearing my house literally as I prepare for this move.


  I just got through re potting some of my plants that are going to a friend who enjoys gardening.  I had to re pot as I wanted to keep my beautiful ceramic pots for a future time.

  I also thinned out some of my veggies in my outside garden.  I now have 3 large container pots of Kohl Rabi.  My green onions are coming up famously as well as the basil, I have not seen the broccoli bloom or bear fruit yet.  I should be able to harvest one more batch of my collards & mustard greens before the whole organic garden is donated to the food bank that graciously assisted me for the last several months. My garden served a purpose for me now that purpose will continued.  I wish I could figure out what to do with my compost.  It is not fully converted yet otherwise I could sack and send it on its way with the containers.


Any suggestions?


I would not have seen things going this way but at least I know it is the gift that will keep on giving!


And I burn some more calories today to boot!


I know I've released some more weight, I do not know how much yet as I do not have scales & I won't be back for my follow up visit with the doctors until the 1st week of January.  It is definite I did as my clothes are hanging off of me so that is a good sign.


Somehow I got off track from my walking which I so enjoyed although I've got movement in over the last month


If it is to be, it is up to me. Author Unknown

Weigh to be whole~ Small delights that add up

Brussel Sprouts or Brocolli? Any gardeners out there that can identify?
Brocolli or Brussel Sprouts?
Mustard Greens 10-13-10



I woke up feeling wonderful no obvious reason, I been smiling inwardly for the last few days.

One of my musician friends came by this morning with his handsome son on a father /son day and what did he do? Toss my compost around and cover it with a tarp so it can "cook". I should have a wonderful nutriently sound soil for my spring garden before too long.

Great thing to do and a great lesson for his son about aiding one's neighbor.

He also pulled out of my loft space above my closet my suitcases with all my fall winter clothes stored. Kinda funny thinking of doing that now since we are still having low 80's weather for a few more weeks.

But I figured while I had the muscle & someone able to climb the ladder I better take advantage of it.

Much to my delight as I tried things on as I was gathering things to give to the woman who has a food bank and thrift shop as donations, about 1/2 of the items I could not begin to fit in with the hernia now fits beautifully which means I have now returned to my 2007 weight! are tops & tunics I had purchased some clearance, some thrift that turns out to be too tight in the sleeves or stomach & I just held onto them.

Well now they are just like they are suppose to be. I loved the fabric and/or colors and had hoped for the day I could wear them. They sat for almost 2 years and I told myself if they did not fit by 2010 I would donate them.

One in particular I held onto for 2 years after making an impulse purchase. It appealed to me though I am not normally a ruffly kind of woman. But the shirring on the sleeves got to me as well as the color.

Another 1/4 are big and half to be altered. What is funny is on the grey tweed skirt, the only thing keeping it from sliding from my waist to the floor is my still swollen abdomen. It fits like it is suppose to since it was a riding skirt so it is to be fitted in the waist & flared as if riding a horse which I won't be any time soon

The remaining 1/4 is being donated as they are too big and not worth the expense and/or time it would take to alter. And someone can get to enjoy them. As of now I have quite a few things going to this woman's clothing shop (not for sale she gives them away to people who come there for food and many of her clients need other things too).

I know by spring that many of the things will join the donation pile as I move toward my goals, but at least I got a chance to enjoy them for a season and will be willing to let them go so someone else can enjoy them!

I just acquire a blender & a slow cooker, so now I can make smoothies! Its amazing what can bring you pleasure, eh?

I thinned out my green beans. While I had a few, they are not thriving because they needed to be thinned out weeks ago & I could not, so now while the sun is shining I will get them done!

My collard & mustard greens, brocolli, brussel sprouts and Kohl Rabi are coming along nicely. It will be awhile before I can harvest but they survived my transplanting! This morning I also planted green onions, collards & red onions

Funny I intensly dislike mustard & collards as a child but love them now.

Last night I had shrimp curry with rice. It was really good. I opened the fortune cooking and saw the word "wait" on it. It was not the fortune it was the reverse side, but I thought it was interesting as that is what I am doing...

I would like to solve the mystery of which pot has brocolli and the other brussel sprouts. I know in another 60 days when it is time for harvesting I will know but I want to know now.

Weigh to Hold~ From this day Forward

"No I am not a surrogate mother. I am not pregnant. It is a hernia. It has weighed me down (but not out)!
Moon o her porch needing TLC with hernia-Frontal.
Moon in her garden. It was blazing hot that day so my poor babies were wilting. (Yes I did water them)! 7-28-10
The plants like me needing some TLC

My front porch with the new plants that could use some TLC from Freecyle


Every man is going to have problems & sometimes he can be the problem for you"~N.N



No I am not blogging about men. This is about attitudes and how people that can make assumption that while initially are, I hope, without malice or intent to cause harm, can ultimately harm you.

I've spoken of it numerous times on my blogs of my challenges & frustrations, not so much about releasing weight, but more observational of life & culture and people as I continue to grow myself.

In less then 2 weeks I am schedule to have surgery to repair something that should have been cared for almost 2 years ago, but because of bias on the part of some professionals (and yes educated ones are not exempted from bigotry) access to badly needed surgery was not forthcoming..

I've had to pay for it in compromised health, economical & a wear on my heart & spirit. As of now I am so full literally & figuratively to the point there is no more room.

Literally, right now I am spilling my guts. I have what is a hernia, but it is not "just a hernia". If I was an elephant my abdomen would be right about the 2nd year gestational period for birth. The only thing that is preventing my intestines from spilling all over the floor (which would make an inconvenient mess) is my skin.

I went from an active, happy for the most part, humorous professional artist to someone who is now operating at perhaps on a good day 25% of where I was a few years ago.

All behind something that was fixable then & fixable now.

Over the course of the last 2 years, I've heard it all: People making assumptions about why you are the way you are to outright blaming while you suffer somehow holding you responsible for something that absolutely was not in your control.

Make no mistake, I do not see myself as a victim, so please do not make assumptions.

I have decided from this day forward as I continue to document this process since I 1st developed this hernia that now I will be very public from the surgery to recovery to reclamation to joy.

Despite what people may assume, I KNOW that once this is corrected I can correct all the rest.
I've been working on "the rest" for awhile, but with restriction because of the badly needed operation. It shouldn't have gotten to this point, but it has. It did. And it will be cared for.

One cannot unring that bell...

What is a weight issue will be far more manageable then it is now. I've gain 50 pounds simply from the inability to be very active. I have lots of limitations in my activity level right now because of a very real danger to my health until this surgery is done.

The surgery, I kid you not, once done, I will lose two dress sizes simply because of the distension. Several weeks down the pipeline , if all goes well, I will have my energy level back where I can be more physical. I've already been advised by the surgeon NOT to lift anything heavy for several weeks until fully healed & I will take him at his word.

I took these pictures of me the day I saw the surgeon so I can track & monitor my progress. My neighbor was kind enough to do it full frontal and side view. I wanted people to see what I look like. Perhaps for some they will believe me when I say "I'm not fat, I have a hernia" or if I am in a good mood "I am not pregnant, its a hernia".

It won't matter in the long run whether people will believe me or not. I've learned you cannot argue with beliefs. Beliefs are not often based on reality but on a person's attitudes, biases or their life's experiences and has little to do with you.

I just know from this day forward I will not be silent nor will I allow others to mar my life with their beliefs that can potentially cause me harm. I may not be able to stop all of it but I can surely stop a lot of it.

I've been enabled to gather knowledge, to learn a lot of what I did not know and reconfirmed what I knew and now I can put them into my own action plan & my vision statement.

I am in no rush. It is not a competition for me. I expect some missteps and definitely mistakes.

I have already redefine myself while here in eating, health & well being.

I've watched others in their triumphs & joys & also in their setbacks, but continue to get up.

I do not like the word "journey" It is so overused and for me when I see someone using it weigh too often I think "oh oh they are setting themselves up for failure" based on the context they use the word "journey".

But hey if it works for them, so be it.

For me, I am not going anywhere, I am exactly where I need to be.

I will spare you what the hernia looks like in its entirety, so you still will not be able to see all of it, only what is pronounced in clothing which makes it understandable why people assume wrongly I'm just fat.


A part of what is helping me immensely has been gardening. Great for your well being. A great stress reducing. A wonderful group in New Orleans, the New Orleans Food & Farm Network
www.noffn.org has been instrumental in my getting a container garden started. This wonderful group should be investigate and those of you are donors and financial angels should check into this a a cause sending your charitable dollars to aid them to do even more!

Like many non-profits, they are struggling with budget cuts, but wealthy in aid & assisting others to have access to healthy food right at their fingertips which will benefit us all in the long run.

If you are in the New Orleans area you should check them out. In other places you probably have a similar program where there are groups who will help you put in a garden as they believe it is an inalienable right we should all have accessible healthy food that is affordable.

My morning ritual is to tend to the watering, feeding & plucking. It almost puts me in a meditative state & helps me to manage my blood pressure and cope with all the external stress. Having the healthy food is almost the lagniappe ( a little extra) from this. I started gardening again2 years ago when this nightmare.

This morning I acquire because of Free Cycle: www.freecycle.org a potted okra plant, passion flowers, chives and morning glories plus empty pots & a raised bed to transplant. I am like a kid in a candy store!


"Comfort & prosperity have never enriched the world as much as adversity has. Out of pain & problems has come the sweetest songs & the most gripping stories"~ Billy Graham

Move Along...

Flaxseed, wheat, and bran muffins
High fiber, healthy breakfast muffin


INGREDIENTS

1 C.flaxseed ground
1 C whole wheat flour
1 C. Oat Bran
1 C. Brown sugar
2 tsp. Baking soda

1 tsp Baking Powder
1/2 tsp salt
2 tbsp. Cinnamon
1 1/2 C. shredded Carrots
2-3 Apples, cored and chopped up or shredded
1/2 C. Chopped nuts (optional)
1/2 c. Raisins (optional)
3/4 C. 2 % milk
2 Eggs, beaten
1 tsp. Vanilla

DIRECTIONS

Mix flour, flaxseed, bran, sugar and dry ingredients together. Shred carrots and apples and add these along with optional raisins and nuts to dry ingredients. Mix well. Stir together milk eggs and vanilla and stir this into batter until well moistened. Fill cupcake papers until 3.4 full and bake at 350* for 20 to 25 minutes.Makes 24 med muffins. ( freeze them in ziplock bag, then just pull one out each morning and will be ready to eat 20 minutes later on the way to work! )

Number of Servings: 24

Nutritional Info Amount Per Serving: Calories: 115.7 Total Fat: 3.4g Total Carbs: 20.8g Dietary Fiber: 2.8mg Protein: 2.9g

You Grow Girl!

For those who are interesved in having healthy food you grow yourself to help in your weight release plan, check out this site www.yougrowgirl.com

Don't Worry; Be Natural-How to tell Organic from "Natural" foods...

I found this article extremely helpful when buying and never ceased being surprised the level of marketing is used to get you to buy products that may or may not be good for you. I especially like the comment "an organic cream puff is still a cream puff" and needs to be mindful of:

Natural vs Organic;What's true-What's Hype?

By Stepfanie Romine

Read full article at:

http://www.dailyspark.com/blog.asp?post=natural_vs_organic_whats_truth_and_whatsype

Pop quiz: Which is the best product description to read on a food label?

A. “100% natural”

B. “All natural ingredients”

C. “100% organic”

D. “Certified organic ingredients”

(Keep reading for the answer!)

This spring, Eco Pulse, a recent survey conducted by the Shelton Group, asked that same question, and though natural and organic foods are now available in seven in 10 supermarkets nationwide, according to the Food Marketing Institute, most of the 1,006 respondents didn't do so well. We're paying more attention to the food that goes into our mouths. Sales of natural and organic food topped $28 billion in 2006, according to the Nutrition Business Journal, with demand for organic foods alone increasing 22 percent, to almost $17 billion.

However, as consumers try to become more discerning at the supermarket, the buzzwords used on food labels are growing more complicated and convoluted. Whether you want the greenest option or products that are minimally processed and free of laboratory-created ingredients, all those grandiose marketing claims can confound even the savviest shopper. “Many consumers do not understand green terminology,” said Suzanne Shelton of the Shelton Group. In a world where burgers are "now made with real beef," carrots are labeled cholesterol-free and sugary drinks are sold as vitamin supplements, what's hype and what's healthy? It's no wonder that consumers are confused!

“They prefer the word ‘natural’ over the term ‘organic,’ thinking organic is more of an unregulated marketing buzzword that means the product is more expensive. In reality, the opposite is true: ‘Natural’ is the unregulated word. Organic foods must meet government standards to be certified as such," said Shelton.

The choice isn't immediately clear: Potato chips can be organic. High fructose corn syrup, according to the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, is natural. So which term is "best"?While the structure of the original question implies that the choice is a subjective one, the correct answer is C, 100% organic. Labeling does get a bit complicated, and as with any rules, some companies bend them more than others. Here, we'll examine each of the answers and their basic meaning.