Gonnas be'GONE!

What I am writing about is not unusual for most of us when we make changes in our lives wanting to do things differently, see things differently and act accordingly.  It is part of a very flawed humanity, where people often in a need to level a playing field if they feel threatened or insecure, to diminish someone else worth when they see change. We do not have to look far to see that happening.

You do not have to be famous, wealthy, beautiful, highly skilled, educated or intelligent or skinny for it to happen. Just shift a hair and see what happens...

I just for once, was curious as I've entered my 6th decade, to understand without wasting too much time or energy, into comprehend why people, especially when it comes to engaging into a healthier, fuller life, why it seems to make others uncomfortable.

In the last several months, I have released over 60 pounds doing it realistically, holistically & carefully.

I still in order to reach my goal, have another 30-50lbs to glow; but it shall be done.  I am now looking to incoporate light weights, take a dance class and other things over the next several months...


  I am not doing it to catch a man, that I was ashamed of myself before or that I want to be out of plus size clothes.  And I thought that my doing this was about me, for me.

It is...

I am not running a race.  I am not trying to compare myself to anyone else nor trying to prove anything to anyone.  I thought I was a pretty cool mama before I began...Competition has never been my forte', I dislike it intensely.

But since the appreciable weight is being noticed also come the what I call the "gonnas" who are always gonna do something but never do & then they have to find fault with you because I did, not going to.  I had to get to a place in myself to accomplish this and I will be doggone if I will let the gonnas stop me.

 I more then proud of myself that I've held my ground...

I've learned that the sun was going to rise as it did so beautifully yesterday & the rain will fall as it did today nourishing my organic garden, no matter what the gonnas said or did.

And I am not going to be any less then the sum of who I am no matter what the goonas, gonna do.

Someone commented to me today that some jealousy could be involved; that some took my ability to speak well, my (as he put it) formidable strength, that if some one comes to me "they better have their A game ready" that the sum of who I am might scare some.

And you know what? They better (have their A game ready).

I am more then pleased with myself that after a very long time and struggle, I've gotten to the point where I came to know no matter what you do, even if you laid down and whine (or not) be passive or not having a learned helplessness wringing you hands to and fro in essence saying "Please like me,please like, I am not threat to you". it will be of no avail.

Cause the gonnas are gonna get you no matter what. It is never about you.

I bring this up because as we all reach hard toward our goals, there will be one or two (or more) gonnas. Live long enough and a gonna could come & get ya. People do not like their world disrupted or patterns shifted. When you release what has weighed you down it WILL cause a paradigm shift in others apart from yourself.

And if one doesn't like it rather using the awesome energy to change themselves, will use extraordinary means & lengths to put you right back where they want you to be, whether it is healthy for you or not.

Or whether YOU want it or not. 


So what did I do?  I wrote this poem:



Anyway
 By iiammoon©11

They are gonna laugh anyway...

So I might as well go out and play…

With all the life & vigor I can display

For...

They are going to laugh anyway...

Roll their eyes…

Smirk...

Wave their hands to & fro

So... I might as well sing loudly…

That song no matter how off key

Because that song  is  for me...

'Cause...

They gonna laugh  anyway...

Since I can't seem "to act my age"

I might as well jump in, Jimmy Choo's  & all...

in a puddle as muddy & messy as it wants to be…

It will wash off once I finish...

After I had a ball.

Because they are gonna laugh anyway...

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